Broken
by NotYetLostFaith
Summary: She'd never walk again, and now she was losing him too.. Young!Kate&Young!Castle AU ONESHOT So very close to home so please be gentle


_AU-Kate and Rick are both in their early twenties and both are just starting in their chosen careers. There is no Alexis yet. They've been together for about a year at this point and she had been on crutches when they met._

* * *

Kate sat in stunned silence. Unable to move, unable to speak, hell she could hardly breathe.

She felt Rick's hand in her own loosen its grip and she knew that he'd already given up.

The doctor gave her a sad smile and started talking about choices, but she couldn't do that now. She couldn't look at this logically and maturely, when her hopes and dreams were crashing at her feet. She let him take in the information, let her dad write everything down, he could tell her later.

She couldn't help but stare at the tentative connection between her hand and the one of the man she loved. He wouldn't let go, wouldn't be the first to do it. And she knew that was because he was treasuring it. Taking it deep into his heart and trying to memorise the very feel of her in his hand, because they both knew everything would change once they left this room.

* * *

He didn't touch her as they left, as she said goodbye to her dad and told him that she would see him later, as they left the hospital in complete silence. In one moment everything they thought they knew had been disproved, and everything they had planned had broken around their feet.

* * *

"So..." she murmured as they carried on, coming to a stop once they were mostly alone, having both wandered to the park without conscious thought.

"So." He murmured back, his voice steady but emotionless.

Kate's heart sank. "I guess it's official then." She shrugged, trying hard not to cry. She'd cried when they discussed that this would be a possibility, cried alone many nights since, begging the universe not to make it come true, but he'd been wrong all alone.

There couldn't be magic, or kismet, or the universe's helping hand. If there were, they wouldn't be hanging onto their relationship with their fingernails.

"Yeah." He sighed softly. "I guess so."

He wouldn't look at her and she could barely lift her eyes to meet his, and it broke both of their hearts to see the other so broken, but neither knew what to say.

It had been their worse case scenario, and both had tried so hard to ignore it in their planning, but here it was, looming over them now like a solid black cloud, draining any and all hope they had.

"I, I don't want to lose you." She muttered, fighting a losing battle against the lump in her throat, unable to stop her eyes from watering and it shattered his heart to see her cry.

"Don't really want to lose you either. But I don't know how we're gonna do this. How we're going to have everything we want now that..." he couldn't say it. It was real. It was happening. But he couldn't give it life and say it aloud.

"We could try?" She bargained, moving closer to him but unable to truly close the gap. "We could just see how it goes? See _where_ it goes? We could still have everything Rick, we could still do this."

Rick shook his head. "How?" He begged, wishing she had the answers here, because he loved her so much and wanted so much with her, for her, but he couldn't see a way this could work right now. They couldn't afford a suitable house together and that was final. They would be stuck in limbo for potentially years and neither wanted to put the other through that.

"I don't know." Kate sobbed. "But, we could at least try, you don't know what might happen, what could happen."

"It was you who said..." Rick reminded her softly, knowing that he was breaking her heart but unable to not point out that she had started this conversation all those months ago.

"I know what I said, but I _love_ you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Rick, and I don't want to lose you. Damn this diagnosis, and damn logistics. I want to marry you one day and I thought you did too."

"I do, you know I do. But we can't do this, I don't think I can do this. I could deal when it wasn't so bad but now..." He faded out but the damage was done. Kate pulled away from him, widening the gap even as she closed off her heart.

"Fine." She nodded sharply. "I'll, I'll send you anything I have. I hope you find someone who makes you happy."

* * *

He begged her to wait but they both knew it was pointless.

* * *

She'd never walk again.

* * *

They had told her in no uncertain terms that she would never get back out of that chair, and she knew that they wouldn't make it through this. That making him watch her come to terms with it all wasn't fair, and that he didn't want to be with her if she couldn't walk, if they couldn't have what they should.

He'd said it himself all those months ago. If they'd been in this position when they first met, they would have never become anything more than friends.

* * *

It was over.

* * *

She had finally been happy, and now the hand she'd been dealt had taken it away.

She watched him walk away as she wheeled around the corner and felt her walls go back up.

She didn't know how he'd handle this, but she knew she'd never let anyone close enough to hurt her like this again. She'd had enough of that to last a life time.

He was her last chance, and he wasn't willing to fight for her.

She was done trying to be good enough.


End file.
